I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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