Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
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