Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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