watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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