Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
