i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
