She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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