When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
