I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
