The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize