Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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