Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
