New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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