dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
