I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
