peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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