so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize