how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
