if i can run in heels then i can drive
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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