Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize