I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
