it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
