Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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