Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
