who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
