i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I think I am morally bankrupt
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
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