Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
