I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
What changed your mind?
Being sober
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
