I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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