I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i think i scared a bird with my dick
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
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