I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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