Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I touched a dick in church today
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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