They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Randomize
