He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Randomize
