I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
