Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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