Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I think your dad took our porno
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
