I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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