yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
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