All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
