I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
