as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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