Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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