IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
