You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
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He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
We need to get me chipped asap
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