Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
