Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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