the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
