How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
