im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
