you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
