I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
