soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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