Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
