We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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