C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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