I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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