If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
