I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
