Your tits are I can't wait for
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
