So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
