What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
