and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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