So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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