Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
