the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
you inspire me to be a worse person
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
did i just pee glitter
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
