I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
